Current mood:	pissed off
Current music:	nothing

WTF ^^
lately ive been so whatever its not even funny. like at all day rehersal when the bell rang katie was like tony, tony... and i was like huh? and i just totally was out of it i didnt remember were i was and then she drove me home and i remember sitting in her car and then i remember being in the shower and shit . i was like what did i do when i came home and my dad was like ummm you took a nap and then went in the shower. so yeah i was freaking out. but the concert was pretty good and i almost cried during finally but i didnt and then a bunch of us went to travis for dinner and shit so whatever then i came home and tried to go to sleep but that doesnt work. i just laid in bed and freaking stared at the ceiling and cried while thinking about so much shit thats going on right now. i dont even know im so confused. i want things to just stop being confusing and go back to being normal although my life is far from normal. but anyways it seems like people dont really want to have anything to do with me lately and i dont know if ive changed or anything and if i did im sorry but whatever i just need to go away from here for a weekend or something with a few people. so whatever. tour day was ok except for the fact that i was dead tired and shit because i didnt sleep at all.so we did that and at rodgers everyone or almost everyone broke down into tears. it sucked. now im here doing absolutely nothing and i cant leave because im fucking grounded and shit but people can come over here. the fact that im grounded isnt that bad its that my parents are grounding me for bringing all of my grades except for mr. D's class which i still passed. its pissing me off. they know i cant stay here all the time and they still keep me here. they have no idea the hell i go through because of how much i think when im here alone. its not even funny its actually really scary. but hopefully i can hang out with katie and or stephanie today but if not who cares. ill get over it and there will be another week or weekend unless i die from being cooped up here the whole weekend. fucking sux. i cant wait till this summer when i dont have to be home at all ill fucking go live somewhere besides here i dont fucking care. thats if someones willing to take me in. i just hope i dont breakdown here again so if anyone whants to save me from insanity please come visit me. im going nucking futs. i want to go swimming or fucking break a wall down or something i need to get aggression out.so again if someone feels the need to save a tormented soul from a personal hell come visit me please.